Actual state – trapped by your environment

I
am dissatisfied with my work.
Job Job Is my job also my vocation? Do I find personal fulfilment? Are my abilities and interests recognized and addressed? Where is the line between work and private life?
feel constrained in my relationship.
Partner Partner Rather than inspiration, vision and trust, the predominant schemes are control, dependency and needs.
depend on the attention of my family.
Family Family Family stands for origin, heritage and imprint. Often, there are discrepancies between wishes and obligations. Often, it’s “I want” versus “I have to” Expecting or desiring attention leads to dependecy.
find compensation and distraction in friends.
Friends Friends With friends, you find what’s missing in your family or your job: appreciation, endorsement and compensation.
Look for alteration, find happiness.

The beginning. The pure form of self, the true core

Absolute truths

Forming of character

Individual beliefs develop

Entrenchment of our beliefs

Experience bars progress

Decision to change from within

Step by step towards the self

Analysing and removing layer after layer

Self-awareness rises slowly

Taking over personal responsibility

Breaking through the last self-made barriers

I am.

During early childhood (years 0-3), we receive first imprints by our parents and their values. “This is what the world is like, this is how I am.”

(Ages may differ due to individual environment)

From age 3-14 our character is formed, based on the interactions between the values we took over and the life we live.

In the period between 14-27 we grow up, gradually detach from our parents and our personal concept for life takes shape. Basis is the interaction between our character and our environment. We now make decisions what appears to be right for us: children or carreer, marrying or staying single, hedonism or solid life.

From about the age of 27, our convictions turn into unshakeable belief systems.

We experience exactly what we believe, feel, and think, which all contributes to the feeling of being on solid ground. Beginning in the mid-thirties, we seek alterations – but only on the outside: new relationship, new job, new city. But we eventually find that the desired outcome, e.g. the feeling of satisfaction is still missing.

Our inner resistances and problems keep growing. Tensions between inner and outer world let us question our situation, our surroundings and our life. We ask ourselves whether it all makes sense, if life is meaningful. This is where we decide to turn around. This is exactly where change begins.

First off, we analyse our experiences and understand that they are subject to the way we judge situations. In other words, we live what we think. Changing the way we think and feel changes the experiences we make.

We move on, led by own resistances. By collecting valuable insights on our way, we grasp who we truly are. Understanding is the first big step towards changing our convictions. The barriers of our formerly unshakeable belief systems begin to fall apart.

We make ourselves conscious that by focusing on the future, we stopped living in the here and now. Our individual actions are directed at future possessions. What we desire to have is not what we are or believe to be. Because of that, now is the right time to revoke old convictions.

When we encounter ourselves – also called reflexion – we can’t evade pain. The truth that we uncover heals us, but it is also painful at times. While we get further and peel off more and more layers we also sometimes face our own resistance to move on with the process. The difference is that we can now handle and face up to this pain without seeking to compensate by doing sport, drugs etc.

It is no rarity that the constant awareness of problems leads to feelings of being trapped. Transformation requires consent. We can only remove the last and most intractable layer when we make the decision to do so. Towards truth instead of illusion.

I am the director of my own life again. I decide what I experience and how I do. Pure being and acting instead of constructing. Change in the structure of my thinking, feeling and acting gives me the ability to just be right here and right now.

I
true core
Absolute truths
Forming of character
Beliefs
Entrenchment
Experience
Decision

Target state

I am
I am The more “I am” and the more I show my true self to the world, the clearer and more fulfilling the results of this become.
Job I have found my vocation and realize my ideas at work.
Partner My partner and I enjoy freedom within relationship and realize common ideas.
Family We give each other energy as a family.
Friends Friends inspire and share joy without craving for admiration.

Didn’t understand everything? Don’t worry. Sometimes you can’t even understand yourself. But never mind, it’s the same for everyone. That’s the reason you’re here.

Here, looking for answers to many questions about yourself and this model. It is a challenging and exciting process which I like to initiate together with you. I will accompany you until the point where joy is the only truth. Sounds complicated.
It isn’t.

I prefer to explain why in a face-to-face meeting.